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You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.
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When you're up to your nose in shit,
be sure to keep your mouth shut.
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One's life tends to be like a beaver's,
one dam thing after another.
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Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
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Old Scottish prayer:  O Lord, grant that we may always be
right, for thou knowest we will never change our minds.
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All probabilities are 50%: either a thing will
happen or it won't.

This is especially true when dealing with women.

Likelihoods, however, are 90% against you.
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Sow your wild oats on Saturday night - then on
Sunday pray for crop failure.
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Early to rise and early to bed makes a male
healthy and wealthy and dead.